Stay with me for a while for I am leaving everything else to the sea. I lay here on the sand awaiting the shore to take my sorrows away and wash my body from all the pain it has carried over the years. I’m leaving myself concealed by the grains of sand on the shoreline, they protect me more than I could ever protect myself from the torments of life. Farewells aren’t as bad as depicted, especially when they involve saying goodbye to your miseries.
Can’t believe it’s been a year. I wish I told you I love you more. I wish I told you I’m here for you. I wish I told you things will be okay and stop worrying. I wish I hugged you more. I could wish many things but there’s no going back now. All I could ask for is that wherever you are I hope you are happy and appreciated. I hope you realize you have a pure genuine soul and you deserve all the best, even more. I hope you are loved like I love you forever and even more. This is not a farewell for soul mates always meet. You are my spirit. My love. My purest soul.
She was my tranquilizer.
She knew how to calm me down.
She is the mother who calms an agitated baby in the middle of the night.
She made you feel like the calm after a storm or the silence of a village at 3 a.m.
She is the light breeze that blows on your face on a good autumn day.
She is the sound of small waves brushing the shoreline.
She is the warmth of a fire on a cold winter night.
She is the smiles on genuine faces.
She is my tranquilizer.
I love the way they look, the sound they make when there is a breeze, and the smell they produce when the weather is moist and it just rained. I love their colors, their uneven branches, and the way they conquer the soil with their roots. I love how they accept all kinds of insects and birds to make their home on them. I love the way the sun shines and escapes between their leaves and how they become brighter and richer in color at the same time. I love how when I am around them, I directly feel at ease and peaceful; I love how they make me happy.
No we don’t have to talk every second of the day; no I don’t want to be your girlfriend and no I’m not in love with you. Yes, I did what I did at that moment but I was numb while doing it. And I don’t want to be numb while doing things. I want to do things because I’m madly in love with someone. I want to feel passion while kissing the lips of the person that makes my body feel like it can’t hold me in anymore. I want my body to stretch on the bed sheets with my toes curled up and my heart beating fast when my lover touches me in all the places I love to be touched.
I tried being with others and it’s so easy to be with them, actually it’s not because I feel nothing with them, they just help numb the pain. You, however, I can’t easily surrender to because if I do all my pain, love and passion will break the surface and explode in my stomach. When I kiss you I get lost in the moment, I forget myself, I forget there’s you and all I can think of is us as one. Our bodies don’t clash, they unite, they become one; I see myself in you and you in myself.
PS. If I surrender to you I want it to be the last, so I’m saving it for when we won’t part again.